Some grace comes by way of fire...

Some grace comes by way of fire, from the hard stuff—mortifications, grief, pain, disappointments and as we say in our service, upon the slab of night—from the deaths of the least of us  but sometimes grace comes by way of water and just washes over you and innervates your insides with a restorative resonance all over.  And such was the watershed that came by way of my turning 70.

Some people have asked me, “What does it feel like to be 70?” Besides the obvious response, “shocking”, I would have to say, Grace full. This grace-full ness is exemplified in the milestone birthday celebration at the Ken Caryl Dakota Lodge where I was given more than a shower but a bath of humor and gentle jabs; a re-sounding bath of good-willed voices and funny cards, a reverberation of poignant messages and a PowerPoint of the decades from the 50’s to the 2020’s and the overwhelming embracive-ness of heartfelt hugs. Grace-filled moments. This turning into 70 seemed to me to complete a turning in the magical spiral of a life where I had been turning, turning and somehow at 70 had come round right and arrived intact rich in a harvest of familial love and friendship. The ever-winding orbital somehow encompassed all the other orbitals associated with the Fibonacci recursiveness of the years—a compounding of dreams and initiatives and hopes and an overriding whirl of friendship. I was in the room with people who had joined my journey at different junctures and had somehow stayed the course with me. And I experienced such gratitude. Grace-full. I received cards and good wishes from afar—one card spilled out into à freefall of 70 hand-sculpted, descriptive adjectives, some messages received from all corners of my life, I received cards one card each grandchild from 4 year old Evi whose Mother transcribed her message which was Dear Granpa, I love you so much but I hope Grandma comes to visit soon. Francis did a Scrabble rendition of my name and determined their name was 14 points and mine was only 13 so one-upmanship starts early, Dositheos did a two word hangman with the key to solving the blanks written upside down on the bottom of the picture: first three blanks were Ben the next four were Love, Laurel I a beautiful car with beautiful handwriting and the message: With every new year comes another speeding ticket and one card was from my oldest grandson, Panteleimon, who typed and printed a message (a big step for Haven-kind) “I am thankful for the love and support that you have always shown to me personally, and I feel assured that you will always love and help me no matter the circumstance… I am so blessed to have you not only as my grandpa but to be able to know you and more than that, be close to you.” Grace-full. Thank full. Grace is ever here in our here and in some heres, it is more pronounced, more readily accessible and apparent. And so Grace-full by way of water comes in waves of gratitude, waves of gentle humor, waves of friendship expressed in hugs, in waves of laughter. In a water-shedding of tears that touch the heart beyond what one might deserve or imagine. So while I recognize the fierce grace that comes by fire, I am so grateful to have been touched by such a gracious grace that came by way of water on that day and I hope you feel the wave of gratitude streaming from my heart to your heart and a steady river of thank yous for the presence you are in my life and how you fill up my senses with such a joyous re-sounding of a love bath. Grace-full. Grace-filled. Thank you.

Oh dear Life that wove in me:
a little sorrow
that I might know the joyful:
a little regret
that I might know great gratitude;
a little hurt
that I might know the beneficent;
a little discouragement
that I might know encouragement;
a little disappointment
that I might know the amazing…
Blessed are you.
Oh dear Life, I am grateful beyond bounds
for the bounded span of days
with which you gifted me.
So short my stay,
so rich my Moments.
Blessed am I.